#4 Why am I always angry?

By Andrew Wilding

Top 8 questions about hypnotherapy #4: Why am I always angry? How to reduce anger

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Anger is your animal instinct registering a threat to your survival or wellbeing

Anger is the “fight” aspect of your fight / flight defence mechanism

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If a person or a group of people hurt you or those you care about physically or emotionally, anger is the feeling of the “fight” aspect of your fight / flight natural defence mechanism. In the “fight” aspect, your animal instinct registers a threat to your survival or wellbeing that your subconscious mind believes you can eliminate using aggression. The primordial course of events would then be an attack on the perpetrator, after which the problem would be solved and the need for further fighting would dissipate along with the feeling of anger, however, if the perpetrator is not defeated, the problem will remain and the anger will not subside.

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If you are always angry there is an ongoing fight in your life. Someone is always hurting you or has hurt you in the past and has not apologised for it or made things right, and this insults you and makes you angry. Many people are not aware of the cause of their anger – nothing seems to be wrong. In this case it is most likely that a subconscious counter-defence program is protecting you from remembering the causal hurt or insult because it is too traumatic or painful to bear with you every day, and this causes you to feel angry and upset very easily, even about “little things”. This is called projecting anger, because the things that seem to make you angry are actually not the real cause of your anger.

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Fighting demands a high level of your energy and often leaves you exhausted and feeling no better than you were before, especially when you are fighting a projection. When “fight” is unsuccessful your subconscious defence program switches to “flight”, and if this is also unsuccessful, you become frustrated – “fight” becomes anxiety, and “flight becomes depression. It is normal to alternate between these polar opposites – this is your subconscious mind trying to escape or break through the problem.

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It is not complicated or difficult to reduce anger and eliminate it completely from your daily mind set. Eliminating anger from your day is an incredibly liberating essential life skill because it also involves eliminating anxiety and depression. Most people judge anger in others or themselves as wrong and feel guilty about it, but the truth is that anger is a valuable message telling you that something is not right, and that change is required. Your first challenge is to let someone help you because your defences are always on red alert. When you can get on top of this challenge you will transform your anger into work energy to keep you moving and make the changes you need in your life. Forgiveness is very powerful. In order to be able to forgive, you must first empower yourself.

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